As you may know (or not), I finally accomplished my goal of returning to graduate school. It only took 18 years but who was counting {Me! I was counting!}.  I’ve been feeling a bit frustrated trying to understand why I was always feeling behind.  A recent assigned wellbeing check really gave me some perspective.  I decided to do the assignment where I would rate my day, for 10 days, on a 1-10 scale of the day being good or not.  On the scale 10 was the best day ever and 1 rated as the worst day ever. I found that I generally average a 7, it was a good day, type of day.  The few days I did not have a seven usually were days where I was rushing around making deadlines.  I found that on those days I had left things on my to do list , whether it was personal items, shopping or school related to do too close to a deadline and if anything unexpected came up I was either rushing to get them completed or staying up well past bedtime to complete them by a self or instructor  imposed deadline.  When I first started reflecting on this, I was irritated with myself.  I felt at my age I should have better time management skills.  Upon further reflection, however, I realized a lot of it was part of an adjustment.  For the past twenty years I have been available.  Available for my children, especially when they were young, available for my friends and extended family.  I was home and homeschooling so obviously I had nothing better to do. Ha! While I did have multiple things to do, they were also flexible, so I usually was able to accommodate requests for my time.  When I returned to school and added classes that I taught, my time was no longer flexible but requests for my time and attention did not change.  After twenty years I was in the habit of being available to friends, family, extended family and my communities of choice.  I have been reteaching myself the art of the judicious, “No, I’m not available currently”.  So last minute lunches, visits to my god children and random running around for my own children have decreased and I have asked my husband and children still at home to pick up the slack.  We are still adjusting.  I am still figuring out where to say yes and live with the discomfort of saying yes too often and the resulting stress of “getting it all done” while balancing the discomfort of the self-perceived rejection of my loved ones needs when I say no.  I realize not everyday can be a 7 or greater but more of them can be 7s or greater with good communication skills, reflection and a new normal of self and family care.